I couldn't think of anything so I just filled my list up with sophomoric jokes.
Golfer - Jack Nickelback
Sci-fi Writer - Stanley C. Clarke
American President - Martin Sheen
Naturalist - John Mirror
Sitcom - ALF Meets Predator
Museum - of Amatuer Clown Paintings
PC game - Angry Clams
Explorer - Gibson
Hemingway novel - A Farewell to Arms (which incidentally is also the title of Wyle E. Coyote's autobiography)
Newspaper - The Willowdale Tattler
Arcade game - Frog Dong
Greek mathematician - Jimmy the Greek
Nonfiction book - Knitting: A Career Strategy
Agronomist - Dianna Agron of Glee
Bassist - Rhymes with racist so I'd better withhold comment on this one.
Board Game - Operation - the game for young, aspiring serial killers.
Chess player - Bo Diddley
Campbell’s soup - anything so chunky it won't come out of the can by itself.
Roller Coaster - of Love
Movie comedy prior to 1980 - Deliverance
Card game - The boys used to come over on Wednesday nights to play five card stud (btw, we were literally boys of 11 and 12.)
Meal - La delicatezza Totino's pizza
Hockey player not named Gretzky - Me - world famous driveway hockey player
Female tennis player - Mt. Chris Evert
Science fiction book - A Fall of Angeldust
Place to visit half hour before dawn - 7/11 to stock up early on the day's beer.
Film - Death Racist 2000
Piano Sonata - Crocodile Rock
Asimov quote - Honey, do I have any clean socks?
Briton - David Brent
Dead comedian - Carlin, Hedberg, Geraldo, Carrot Top
Dead comic actor - Jack Webb (I loved his "Just The Facts, Ma'am" routine.)
NBA player - Oscar 'The Grouch' Robertson
European city - The one where they speak with funny accents.
Windshield wiper - Cracked, disintegrating rubber. Then it starts to rain.
Hard liquor variety - sloe gin waffles (I made them in my teens. True story.)
Baseball announcer - The one who can stay awake the longest.
Automobile company - Matchbox
Mechanical pencil - Crayola
Billionaire - J. Quincy Magoo (He could do with some lasik surgery though.)
OTC medicine - Coca-Cola (the 19th century version that had cocaine in it.)
Star Trek captain - S'chn T'gai Spock (full name unpronounceable to Humans)
Home cooked meal - Burnt just like mom used to make.